Be Realistic
by eratheia
Summary: Kuroko harbors strong feelings for Kagami and tries to convince himself otherwise. Just as he's about to give up, he has the idea that his longstanding crush might like him, too. Will he come to terms with his feelings or continue to push them away, along with Kagami? Written for my fanfiction giveaway, there will be two chapters total.
1. Chapter 1

**_Be Realistic_**

* * *

~KUROKO~

The night was quiet, a little solemn, a little stormy. The rain cascading down my window was livelier than me, tiny drops bouncing against the glass in rhythm. I was captured in a still as if someone happened upon this very moment and shot a photo. Cold colors depicted the night, a sullen blend of purple and blue seizing the midnight hour. With hopes of giving into my subconscious, I examined my room while I laid in bed. It was empty by preference. There was a white desk to my left tinted lavender by the moon's light. A few papers strewn about, a jacket hung over my chair. To my right were windows spanning from the ceiling to the ground and adorned with sheer curtains. My bed was positioned against them horizontally. It was nice observing how street lamps lit the houses, giving warmth to the neighborhood. This was my nightly ritual before I slept but today, I abandoned it for another. My body was locked into place and every last bit of energy was put into my concentration. Focus shrouded all else, intent on finding the meaning behind the smile...

_"I played Aomine. He said he used to be your 'light'. It sounded to me like you weren't just ordinary teammates. What happened between you two in middle school?"_

Exactly what... did Kagami mean by that?

When he asked, I assumed he was referring to my history in Teiko and answered him accordingly. I told him of Aomine's former love for basketball, of how he blossomed sooner than the rest of us, and how his desire for a challenge ignited his hatred of the game. I don't know why Kagami promised we'd restore his passion, but he smiled as if he looked forward to the future. However, there was something else behind it, just a hint of discontent. Would he not be satisfied until we played against Aomine, or did I not give him the answer he truly wanted?

_You weren't just ordinary teammates..._

_What happened between you two..._

There were a few possibilites as to what he meant, but only one peaked my interest. Kagami might've been asking about us in a roundabout way. What if he thought Aomine and I were together in the past, if there was a pinch of jealousy there? The words he used were slightly suggestive, and I positively remember him with a hurt expression. That may have been from his defeat by Aomine and his most likely suffering pride. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with jealousy, just a temporary upset. Even still...

What if, by chance, Kagami liked me?

Of course not! I was merely projecting my feelings onto him, feelings that were supposed to be suppressed. When the championship came to an end, I could dream. Otherwise, I'd become a liability to the team because of this distraction. For now, I needed to let them go. _Kagami did not like me_. Surely, he would push me away if he ever learned of this. It was good practice, putting up the front that I felt nothing for him other than friendship. We would never become anything more than this, considering he didn't even agree on that. We were nothing, and this standstill was absolute. Right.

Just as I was about to turn over, No. 2 found his way into my bed. He laid on my stomach, shifting around until he was comfortable. Then he fell into a deep sleep almost as quickly as he'd crawled on top of me. I held him in my arms and stroked his back, burying my fingers into his fur. Normally, this was my method of relaxation, similar to squeezing a stress ball. This was ineffective as well. I couldn't help but pretend it was Kagami whose head rested on me instead. I wanted to know what his hair felt like. It wouldn't be as soft as No. 2's, with all of the spikes and such. But I still wanted to touch, to drag my fingers across his skin as he slept. Ah, how nice.

_No, Tetsuya, be realistic. You'll never get to hold him-_

-because he would probably be the one holding me. After all, his arms were much longer than mine, and such a wide body like his would be hard for me to wrap around fully. His hands were larger than mine, too. I wondered what it would feel like if I could hold them. Even when we simply touched fists, it sent sparks through me. His long fingers laced between mine would be blissful- it would've been the perfect fit. Kagami was like a pocket I wanted to tuck myself into. I'd never been particularly fond of my size, not until now. Despite my efforts to deter my affection for him, I gave into the tenderness I craved and let him carry me into my dreams.

I awoke, groggy and sluggish. Other than the time of day, nothing had changed. I still liked Kagami, and he still couldn't know that. That was the least of my worries, though. Thanks to my lack of sleep, school would be starting soon and I hadn't eaten breakfast yet. I slipped on my uniform and left the house, walking briskly. I'd been rushing to school so impatiently that I bumped into Kagami from behind. This was to be expected. There wasn't a day when Kagami wasn't late, so if we left at the same time, we were bound to cross paths.

"Oi Kuroko, where did you come from?" Kagami said, flustered.

"I've been here the entire time, Kagami-kun."

"Yeah, yeah, that's nothing new. I don't see why you're late, though. It's not like you."

"You noticed."

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Nothing."

_Kagami paid attention to me._ It made my life a bit more pleasant, even though it was such a small thing. Everything about me was discreet. The majority of my life was spent as a person with no presence, and therefore little existence. No one noticed me, and after the alarm of seeing me had passed over, I reverted back to being useless. The fact that one person had learned something about me was more than enough, but that person being Kagami made it a moment worth remembering. Blood was rushing to my cheeks, scouring my body with heat as it climbed upward. As much as I wanted to, there would be no way for me to control this. In basketball, I could turn the tide of the game if I tried hard enough. Unfortunately, these rules didn't apply to love.

_I don't like this. I don't like this._

Succumbing to my emotions, I panicked and punched Kagami's arm. I wanted to apologize, to tell him how I felt and relieve this pressure from my chest, but I couldn't. My heart always stopped short in my throat, daring to release but never quite following through. Instead, I ran away and went on to assault him three times that day. Because of this, I decided to hide during lunch. He must've been terribly upset with me, but that wasn't the issue at hand. I would only end up giving into my nerves again. Things escalated quickly, and it became apparent that I couldn't maintain any kind of relationship with him. Hiding was better.

"KUROKO!"

_Ah, he found me._

Kagami grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and held me up, his face mere inches from mine. When he spoke, it was clear that he'd been waiting to erupt.

"Kuroko, what the hell is your problem? You've been attacking me all day! What did I ever do to you?"

_You keep me up at night. You help me dream a little more. You make my head spin and my heart hurt. You torture me, and you don't even know it._

"You shouldn't have played basketball yesterday, Kagami-kun. Aomine-kun is stronger than you. You pushed yourself too hard." My embarrassment stopped me from confessing, which left me with no other choice but to lie.

"I'm fine! And what do you mean Aomine's stronger than me? You won't know that until I play him!"

"Some things in life are absolute, Kagami-kun."

Kagami raised his hand to me as if he was about to punch me. But there was a look of defeat in his eyes, and the emotion behind that stopped him from going any further. He set me down and gritted his teeth, becoming more infuriated by the second. Regardless, the truth was concealed. That was my priority.

"You're still avoiding my question, but more importantly... Something's not right with you." Kagami spoke slowly. "You're the first one to tell Seirin we can overcome the odds against us. Since when was anything absolute? And just how high do you hold Aomine on a pedestal? Sorry, I'm not perfect like him. I don't mind losing sometimes, but I _damn_ sure won't lose to him whether we're in the court or not! I'll show you!"

My eyes lit up with disbelief as I hung onto his last words. Long after Kagami had stormed off, I was left motionless on the ground, incredulous. There was no doubt that he felt more than desire to win the game. He returned my feelings and was set on proving himself to me. Last night, I told myself countless times to be realistic. However, the truth was much different than I thought it to be- this was my reality. All of my life, I'd been a shadow, but today... _I was the light that fueled his fire._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Be Realistic, Continued...**_

* * *

~KUROKO~

Once lunch ended and the second half of the school day began, I had the urge to leave for home. I'd just discovered that the rage pent up inside of Kagami was for me, but that confession was at his expense. I lied and made him believe he was weaker than Aomine. Physically, that may have held some truth, but whether or not that was the case didn't matter. Kagami set out to prove himself worthy, and that spoke volumes about him.

Power levels weren't the only difference between the two of them. Kagami had a stronger soul than Aomine. He had much more heart, and that was the kind of strength I valued most. So, I owed him more than an apology- I had to be completely honest with him. Regardless of my blunt nature, it was hard for me to be straightforward when it came to things like this. Being open and allowing myself to be vulnerable... it was new to me. That's why the thought of running was so appealing. If I was ever going to be with him, I would have to leave my comfort zone behind. Surely, he would be with me every step of the way, but change was as equally frightening as it was necessary.

Reluctantly, I endured the last few hours of school and headed to basketball practice. Kagami walked alongside me, only a few feet away. I counted on my lack of presence and prayed I wouldn't have to confront him-

"Kuroko."

_Ah, he noticed me again._

"Kagami-kun," I responded, keeping my eyes ahead of me.

"I was looking for you. Come with me-" He pulled me to his side, locking arms with me. "-and don't even _think_ about doing another disappearing act."

Kagami retained his hold on me for the duration of the walk. We went through the heart of the city, passing restaurants and corporations. Buildings were packed tightly, crammed together and stacked on top of each other. Even as we pushed our way through crowds, his arm never left mine. After we had trudged through the thick of the city, we reached a less congested area with fewer businesses and more houses. Once we passed my neighborhood, I knew Kagami's intentions. We arrived shortly at an apartment complex, taking the elevator. The light clicked repeatedly as we passed floors, 1... 2... 3... With every toll, my anxiety and excitement rose, each battling with the other. When we made it to the sixth floor, we walked down a long, winding hallway until we arrived at our destination. The last stretch had so much intensity in every step that I'd almost forgotten to breathe.

_I can't believe this is happening._

"This is my place," Kagami said as he opened the door to his apartment. It was a cozy space, tidy and warm. He invited me to his kitchen, motioning me to sit as he prepared food. It was no surprise that he was hungry, with a limitless appetite like his, but it hadn't dawned on me that a person with such passion for food would know how to cook. I never expected to see him with an apron on and a clip in his hair, breaking into a light sweat as the steam from the pan clung to him. I watched in awe as he tossed vegetables with one hand and stirred meat with the other. Rather than his typical abrasiveness, he became calmer while doing this. It was nice seeing a part of him I hadn't known before. I wanted to do this more often, little things like this that normally meant nothing but became so much more with him.

_If I could just tell him..._

"Kagami-kun, I have a question."

"Mm?"

"Earlier today, when you said you wouldn't lose to Aomine-kun... What did you mean by that?"

"I meant exactly what I said."

"Ah- sorry, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't reading into it."

"I guessed as much."

Kagami removed his apron and set two plates on the table, filling them to the brim with his stir fry. He sat across from me, handing me chopsticks. I expected him to immediately begin tearing into his food as usual, but instead, he stared at me. He wasn't angry; there wasn't a hint of frustration in his expression. To me, he seemed... patient. Waiting for something. I had grown accustomed to his anger, so his composure intimidated me. Actually, the whole ordeal was so sudden. First, he dragged me away with our arms intertwined. He had no qualms about the other students glancing at us uncomfortably as he clung to me. Then, he invited me to his apartment- I was honored that he considered me important enough to open his home to me. Above all, he cooked for me. That was an act normally done by _lovers_, not friends or mere acquaintances. I didn't know what to think of it all, nor could I predict what would happen next.

"You can eat if you want, Kuroko. But right now, I'm more interested in what you have to say. Go on."

I avoided his eyes, eating my cabbage slowly. Kagami was getting irritated as I played with my food, twirling my chopsticks in the vegetables and covering them in the meat's sauce. Even though he tried to fight down his anger, I could hear it seeping through his voice.

"You've always been blunt, Kuroko! You carelessly say what's on your mind without a second thought. Now you wanna be quiet? Just tell me what's going on, I don't want to guess anymore!"

_He's right. This isn't like me at all, being so evasive. Tell him how you feel. Just say it, like you always do. Say something, say something, say something-_

I tossed my vegetables again.

"Fine, don't say anything." He stood from his chair and slammed his fists on the table, looming over me. "I'm not being as forward with you as I'd like to be. Didn't I say I'd show you that I won't lose? Why do you think I welcomed you in my home? Why do you think I cooked for you? I know I'm aggressive, so I tried to be less... overbearing. But if being indirect with you doesn't work, then I'm done with it."

Kagami was brooding now, that overpowering aura of his reaching its zen. He leaned over and kissed me gently, a startling contrast to his current mood. I loved his taste and how his nose rubbed against mine as we explored each other. As we went on, I hadn't realized that my hands found their way to his shoulders. I let myself fall into the kiss- no, he demanded that of me with tender but firm authority, and I followed suit without stopping to think for even one moment. His lips moved in time with his tongue, paced perfectly. Despite my lack of experience, he persuaded me to reciprocate. If this was his way of forcing me to accept my feelings, well... I wouldn't fight it.

"Kagami-kun..."

He pulled me into another kiss, and another after that. Small pecks, light to the touch.

"If you don't tell me how you feel, I'll keep kissing you until you do, Kuroko."

"That makes me want to stay quiet, Kagami-kun."

"Huh?"

_Maybe now would be a good time..._

"I've never had one romantic thought about Aomine. You don't have to worry about losing to him outside of the court, you don't have anything to prove to me. I've been infatuated with you for a while now. I dream about you, about _us,_ spending time together and just doing simple things. Whenever I see you, I'm reminded of that, and I start having these impulses... to hold your hand or hug you. But I honestly believed you didn't return my feelings, so I punched you in order to hold myself back. I'm sorry."

"So that's it, eh?"

"Yes. By the way, I hit you four times. Please hit me so we can be even."

"Don't be stupid, Kuroko. I don't want to hit you, but if you ever bring up Aomine again, I'll take you up on your offer. Now, why don't you give into one of those impulses you talked about?"

I would give anything to hold Kagami's hand but right now, I was compelled toward something else. For the first time, I let myself go and kissed him. He grabbed my hips, lifting me into his arms. The kiss became deeper, and I could almost feel his lips curled up in a smile against mine. My legs wrapped around him. He smiled again. When we came up for air, I wished I would've suffocated instead.

"Oi, Kuroko. Do you wanna go to my room?"

"Um..." I blushed, not knowing how to respond.

"Not _that_, dumb ass! I was thinking we could finish our food while we watch a movie or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I actually like you, you know."

"You... like me?"

"Obviously! Be realistic, would you? You're so slow, it hurts."

_Be realistic. Ah, how ironic._

* * *

A/N: This was going to be the end of the story since I liked this chapter as it is and I honestly don't want to add anything in it. But I've decided to write another chapter to give the story better closure. And why not show Kagami and Kuroko spending time together? I have a funeral to attend so I won't be able to update it this week, but hopefully it's worth the wait. Give me your thoughts on this (and what's been written so far)? Reviews are always appreciated~


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